Orientitis... it's an Orient thing

 Mona Mona's letters page  Mona

Do you have any complaints or worries about Orientitis... it's an Orient thing, Leyton Orient, or man's senseless inhumanity to man?  E-mail Mona

My Dearest Mona,

Remember me. It's Ronnie.

I've bloody had enuf of Brazillian football! I can't stand another dull game, played in some oversized arena surrounded by bands and bikini-clad-babes, the ticker tape and smoke obscuring the one-touch flowing football.

I want to get away from all that. I long for the game I grew up with and loved at Brisbane Road. I've e-mail my mate Barry and he says I can have a season ticket next season for Ten bob, just like back in the early sixties. I haven't seen the O's since I've been away. Tell me luv, are the O's still playing the likes of Liverpool every week?

It wont be long now and we'll be able to meet in The Four Finches for a glass of Double Diamond before the game, like we used to when your old man was away.

Love and kisses

Ron B


Ronnie!  You always was a smooth talker.  I don't go in much for that sort of thing these days.  I get all the excitement I need from the O's.  Anyway, how come you know Barry, what with him being a respectable businessman and you being a villain?

Dear Mona,

I was searching the web for a roofer to repair my leaking roof. When I typed in Loft your face appeared.  Can you help or recommend someone cheap?


Dick Van Dyke

My husband used to do that sort of thing, God rest his soul.  I don't think LOFT could do it, but you never know.  The O's players are cheap, but I ain't seen none of them stopping leaks.

Dear Mona,

I think Tate is s***e!


Well, so do I.  They spend all this money on art galleries what no-one wants to go to - what about sorting the buses out for a change?

Dear Mona,

Any chance of a plug for the next LOFT meet?



Now, what sort of a plug was you after, dear?   There's a stall in Roman Road what does all sorts of plugs: bath plugs, sink plugs... or did you want electric plugs?  They're all square pins these days, though, aren't they?  I ain't got none spare - I'm a pensioner, you know.


Dear Mona,

I hope you can settle a bet for me... is it true that at one time in their history Orient used to play their home games at Wembley Stadium and therefore by some quirk hold the record for the team to have played most times at Wembley? I hope you can help. Cheers.


Ooh, you're taking me back a bit there, love.  Well, just after we moved to the old ground at Lea Bridge Road, some team who lost 4-0 complained that the fence was too close to the pitch, and we had to play the next two home games at Wembley.  1930, it was.  We beat Brentford 3-0 and Southend 3-1 (happy days!), but after that we had to go back home again.  Do you know, that meant we'd won every game we'd played at Wembley?  Then we had to go and spoil it all by losing to Scunthorpe in the play-off final in 1999.  Is that all right, love?  Only I've forgotten the question, now.


Dear Mona,

It's a nice site, but I'm not sure about the Salmon Pink background.


What's wrong with a nice bit of pink?  I love pink, me, and the Editor let me choose the wallpaper, so there, you cheeky young rascal.  Old people don't get a say in nothing these days.  You never see pink nowadays, do you?  Nor liquorice comfits.


Dear Mona,

Re: Wim - bad appraisal...100% orient & always trying but not in the way you imply!!


Well, Karpud, I don't know.   We didn't have no Belgians in the team when I was a girl, that's all I can tell you.  Couldn't get no proper eggs, neither.  And you never even saw a banana then.